My abuser was my dad. The earliest memory I have is of him telling me not to tell anyone; that it was our secret. I was about five years old and it started with inappropriate touching. The older I got the worse the abuse became and it continued through junior high.
I recently read "Hooked; New Science On How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children" by Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr., MD and Freda McKissic Bush, MD. McIlhaney founded The Medical Institute for Sexual Health to study the science of human sexual behavior and its consequences. In the introduction they explain "Modern neuroscience research has uncovered startling new information about how sex affects our brains. The effect of sex on our brains can have all sorts of consequences, including many that scientists are still working to understand. But we do know that sex can literally change a person's brain, influencing the thought process and affecting future decisions. And therein lies both the benefit and the risk. When sex is experienced in healthy ways it adds great value and satisfaction to life, but when experienced in unhealthy ways, at the wrong time, it can damage vital aspects of who we are as human beings." I highly recommend you read this book.
For me this book gave some clarity to a number of social problems. If you've ever watched a documentary on prostitutes or runaways you will hear a majority of them disclose abuse. I believe we are all a product of our environment and so few are as blessed as I am to have a loving and supportive family. Victims often turn to sex and stay in abusive relationships because that is all they know. Or they turn to drugs or alochol to try to forget.
The brain also works to protect us from the trauma by blocking out some of those memories. Some of my memories are fuzzy and some are very clear. There are things that trigger memories. For example, my dad worked for a company that produced iron pipes and he carried that smell of moulent iron on his clothes and skin. So sometimes when I catch a whiff of that smell it will trigger a flashback.
Fortunatly for me, my mom made sure that I received the right support and therapy all through high school. She was and still is my hero.
( http://www.medinstitute.org/products/item14.cfm )
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