Excuses

Came across a discussion on Facebook this morning about excuses made by child abusers and made for child abusers by family and friends.

Some of the common excuses listed are they were drunk, they are depressed, they are going through a hard time, they didn't know it was wrong, and they said they were sorry. The post continues by stating that there is no excuses for abusing a child.

While I agree that there should be no excuse for the abuse of a child - be it sexual, physical, or emotional - I also believe that we are all a product of our environment and the cycle of abuse will continue if the abused are not taught a different way to live and if they are denied a proper support system.

Now that doesn't mean that all kids who are sexually abused will become child molesters. They may be physically or emotionally abusive to other. They are likely to continue to be abused as well in other relationships because they lack the skills, knowledge, and courage to get out of those relationships. They simply do not know what a positive, healthy relationship looks like or feels like.

We are all scared by something but some of us have better coping skills and a strong solid support system. Not enough people are willing to step up to be the change or be that positive support system and role model for victims of abuse. Are you?

Passion

Sometimes I need a reminder that I am stronger than my fears and more confident than my doubts...

The things that people say or the things that don't get said - especially by someone close to you - can rock your confidence. Sometimes people don't know how to be supportive and we just need a reminder not to let that detour our passion.

I was reminded this weekend that my passion is to share my story, to inspire others to heal and tell their story, and to end sexual abuse. 

My daughter attended HOBY Nebraska - a great  youth leadership program and she had the opportunity to listen to several speakers that touched her deeply. At the closing ceremony, I also had the opportunity to listen to one of the speakers - Lamarr Womble, the founder of Passion for Leadership.

His message is directed at students but it's powerful and applies to adults as well. Lamarr's message is about living life to the fullest, treating people with respect, taking advantage of all of your opportunities, and most importantly - finding your passion!

Too often people do not act on their passion because someone - friends, parents, teachers, family, etc. - tells them something negative like it can't be done or that they can't make any money doing that. Lamarr's message to students is that you don't have to wait to discover and act on your passion and it's okay if you passion doesn't make you any money - you can have a career to pay the bills and take action to fulfill your passion!

I believe that we are all a product of our environment. Not everyone grows up in a good environment but some find a way to overcome and live a better life. Others need help - to be shown a different way to live a happy and productive life. 

I wish that all kids could hear the positive and supportive message that Passion for Leadership shared on Sunday. I know that I could have greatly benefited from it when I was in junior and senior high. It's taken me a long time to get to where I am now and I still stumble but don't we all?